Andy Borowitz at the Huffington Post, says angry Cleveland fans demand their players take steroids.
Displeasure with the championship-starved squad reached a boiling point with the news that slugger Manny Ramirez took performance-enhancing drugs -- but only after leaving the Indians.
When asked by ESPN if he ingested the banned medication while playing for Cleveland, Mr. Ramirez shrugged his shoulders and replied, "What would be the point of that?"
Mr. Ramirez is just the latest in a long line of baseball players who have refused to take steroids while playing for the Indians, says fan Chuck Goulardi, 49, the leader of last night's protest.
"Manny's comment was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back," says Mr. Goulardi, who has seen his 'roid-free Tribe fall to their juiced-up competition more times than he can recall. "These players are paid good money, and all we're asking them to do is take one measly shot in the ass."
Name the best juicier who suited up for the Indians? Paul Byrd? Isn't that sad? Give Cleveland a huge hit of anti-depressants.