Know how you cannot joke about bombs in an airport? British 10,000K runner Kate Reed learned the hard way not to joke about drugs at the Olympics. Her joke about morphine wasn't meant to be morfed into a problem; she found out that jokes about the 'sister' are not taken lightly. The Guardian tells us why:
The British 10,000m runner Kate Reed had her bedroom in Beijing searched on suspicion of possessing drugs, it has emerged. Reed, 25, finished 23rd at the Olympics and has blamed her performance on UK Athletics' insistence that she undertake a drugs and fitness test the day before the race after she had made a joke about using morphine to clear up an injury. It sparked the decision by British Olympic Association officials to search her room but no banned substances were found.
"Just two days before the 10,000m final she intimated to at least two members of the medical staff that she might take morphine to kill the pain," said UK Athletics in a statement. "It should be noted that this substance is on the banned list for in-competition testing.
"Both members of the medical team independently interpreted her comments to mean that she had morphine in her possession. Also, it should be noted that despite being asked on several occasions throughout the trip to declare her full range of medications, as is the norm, the athlete had failed to do so.
"Following discussions between UKA and the Chef de Mission, it was agreed that the athlete should undertake a doping test and her fitness be confirmed to alleviate further concerns."
Reed underwent a 2km fitness trial the evening before her 10,000m race. Reed said she had been talking to Neil Black, UKA's team physiotherapist, while having treatment. "I was not aware there were two medics there. We were just having a joke about my leg. I asked for a jab and we joked about taking morphine," said Reed yesterday.
Do not joke about morphine. Do not joke about morphine. Write that 100 times.
"It was said in jest. You would have to be rather stupid to [think] I wasn't joking. It wasn't until the next day at 10am that I was accused of carrying [morphine]. And I had not even said that in the first place.
"The doctor said he was in the room with me and Neil and said he overheard it. I said, 'For God's sake, it was hardly a sensible conversation and why didn't you ask me at the time?' "
The UK Athletics statement added: "Had the doping test, the room search and physical test not taken place to satisfy the various concerns around this case, Team GB would have been sending an athlete to the start line of an Olympic final with serious uncertainties and grave doubts."
As the Stones sang:
Here I lie in my hospital bed
Tell me, Sister Morphine, when are you coming round again?
Oh, I don't think I can wait that long
Oh, you see that I'm not that strong