The Whizzinator, that pretend phallus that squirts out bogus urine to fool doping tests has risen from the dead (or the flaccid). The Times Online wonders if that's a fake phallus in the testing stall, or is the athlete just happy to be tested:
Meanwhile, British officials are taking action to prevent athletes fooling dope testers by using false penises when giving urine samples. The penises, and untainted urine, are widely available on the internet.
Doping control officers have been given strict guidelines that athletes must be observed and their bodies visible from the stomach to the knees when they produce urine specimens.
Russell Langley, of UK Sport, said: “This is necessary because there have been cases in other countries where sportsmen have tried to manipulate the sample provision.”
The fake phallus came first, later upstaged by Viagra rising. However the penis is back:
One early case occurred in the 1978 Tour de France when the race leader, Michel Pollentier of Belgium, was found to have a rubber tube containing untainted urine hidden in his armpit.
The problem has grown because of the sophisticated equipment available online. One site advertises a kit that includes a “very realistic prosthetic penis” and dried urine.
An athlete may purchase the Whiz in any number of appropriate skin tones. Here is a testamonial:
THANK THE GOOD LORD FOR THE WHIZZINATOR!
THIS THING IS AWSOME! IT`S BY FAR THE ULTIMATE TOOL FOR LIVING IN TODAYS WARPPED SOCIETY.ITS THE BEST, AN SO EASY TO USE!!!!!!! THANK YOU GUYS SO
Yes, thank god for a product that allows a person to cheat.