Steroid Nation loves Jose Canseco, like a old floppy pet dog. A big, lovable, doof. Always great to keep track of Canseco's whereabouts, and his ne'er-do-well activity.
Canseco reportedly wants a 'Dancing with the Stars' gig. Imagine his large steroid-developed frame out there cutting the rug. A ratings bonanza. Pure Gene Kelly.
Reports indicate Canseco attended some of those lush 'Dancing' parties. Here he is caught on video (scroll down). ( Update: Vin over at the Sports Column sent me the You Tube link so y ou don't have to wade through the other stuff to see the big guy)
However, life isn't easy, even for a steroid superhero. Gaslamp Ball reports Canseco sneaked into one 'Dancing' post-party, was spotted by a female
bouncer attendee, then booted.
That's a picture of Jose Canseco, but it's not just any picture of Jose Canseco. It's a picture of Jose Canseco at a Dancing With the Stars post-party. Do you remember how Canseco was rumored to be the next DWTS sports star? Canseco went so far as to tell the gossip rags that he'd been offered the spot, but had yet to decide if he would tango with the other stars.
Well, the actual story that we've heard from our Secret Source behind the scenes at DWTS is interesting and much more believable, if not in a sad sort of way.
During last season's final episode, Jose Canseco was seen in the audience and is allegedly friends with DWTS dancer Mario Lopez. After the show, everybody went to the post-party to do what post-partiers do, but our guy Jose wasn't on the list and was denied entry. After sneaking in, he proceeded to do his mingling thing. The girl that initially turned him away spotted him and had security escort him out. Whether or not she actually recognized him as Jose Canseco is unclear, but apparently, cries of, "I'm Jose Canseco!" don't carry much weight around these parts any more.
Never one to take no for an answer, Jose slithered back in, was allowed to stay, and made much use of his camera time.
Eventually, Canseco schmoozed the right people and had enough people recognize him that he was allowed back in. Once he was in, Canseco took every opportunity to mug for photos. Any time a camera was produced, Canseco stuck his steroid enlarged head into the shot. From what we've heard from our friends behind the scenes, it was a little weird. More than once, people would be heard whispering in hushed tones, "Why does Jose Canseco keep sticking his face in photos? And what the heck is even doing here'?
Apparently, what he was doing was getting face time to try to provide some material evidence to the "rumors" that he would be the next Dancing With the Stars sports star - Rumors that evidently, Canseco was planting himself. It seems that the plan was to get as much face time in the gossip columns as possible so as to make it seem that he was the prime candidate for the spot. Sort of the self fulfilling prophecy strategy. The plan obviously didn't work as Clyde the Glide and the speed skater are strutting their stuff on network TV while Canseco tries to figure out if he really is just destined to do softcore porn.
Maybe next year, Sultan of the Syringe. Maybe next year.